Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Where is the hickey?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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