Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Operation Purity has been aborted
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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