idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
