Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
