I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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