Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
