i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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