the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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