I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
