Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
