Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
