plz talk dirty to me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
