You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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