I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
