if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
