Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
