you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My penis needs a shock collar
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
