is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
