I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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