Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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