You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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