great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
