NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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