I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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