If that was your dad, he is hot
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
