Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
