Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
