He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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