Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
