she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize