I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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