my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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