Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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