god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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