At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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