So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
