I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
