no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize