I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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