You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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