Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
