guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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