I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I could fuck to npr.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
