I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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