Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
