I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
