Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
