Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
