I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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