I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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