I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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